


Squandered

by Wally_Birb



Series: Smoak'd [6]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), DCU, DCU (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015), Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Growing Up Together, Kidnapping, Not Canon Compliant, not romantic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8948875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wally_Birb/pseuds/Wally_Birb
Summary: “I’m not a hero!” Felicity spat out. “I’m just a nice person, you paranoid asshole!”“Yeah, normally nice people don’t have to yell that in the middle of a library,” Lex observed, crossing his arms over his chest.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is like 100% inspired from the Burr/Hamilton dynamic in Alexander Hamilton. Almost done with Lena Luthor instead, but I have a fic with her planned and _I wanna believe in her_.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

They met in a boarding school. They were both bullied mercilessly--both outcasts for nearly the same reasonings. Lex Luthor was a smart ass, bald kid with a daddy who could make all of his problems disappear and screwed his classmates’ parents to do so. Felicity Smoak was a nerdy, younger kid who was only able to get into their school by using _scholarships_.

They were both loners by necessity.

The thing was, Lex was pretty sure that, even though he’d watched callously while asshats had bullied Felicity a few times, Felicity was the only person in the entire school who would step in if Lex was getting shit from the other students. He didn’t notice it at first, because she wasn’t stupid. It was subtle. The couple of times someone had started something with him in front of her, she’d either find a way to casually bring a teacher by or make the bullies focus on her.

It was the kind of self sacrificing bullshit that had Lex feeling an odd assortment of emotions. He was grateful, but confused. He had no idea what she’d get out of helping him if she didn’t bring it up. (And good luck trying to get her to fucking talk, Jesus Christ.) The only thing that actually pissed Lex off more than arrogant, entitled bastards in high school was that he couldn’t figure out Felicity’s game.

Was she manipulating him? Trying to make him owe her?

Was she genuinely that kind?

Nah, bullshit. _No_ one in that fucking school was that kind.

And that frustration was what spurred their first conversation. Lex had found her in the library, nose buried in a book on the creation of the computer while handwritten notes were organized messily over her table in a way that Lex could tell only made sense to her. 

Somehow her innocent appearance only pissed him off more. 

He slammed his books and hands down on the table and relished in the way she startled, wide blue eyes staring up at him like a rabbit staring at its doom. He channeled his third nanny and kept his face a stone, a cold glare keeping the girl in her seat, daring her to speak up while he kept silent until she did.

“Can I...help you?” She asked, a slight annoyance in her voice that was overwhelmed with confusion.

“What’s your game?” Lex demanded, not in the mood for small talk.

Felicity blinked in confusion, her eyes settling into a slight squint. (He absentmindedly noted that it was quite likely that she needed glasses, as he rarely saw her sans squint.)

“Blackjack?”

Lex straightened from leaning over the table and rose one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, mentally counting down from ten. “I meant why the fuck are you helping me?”

Felicity’s confusion turned a bit more annoyed for a second before realization dawned on her face--and wow, Lex had no idea how she was from Vegas if her poker face was that fucking bad. “Oh, you mean… _that_. I uh- I don’t know, because it’s the right thing to do?”

“God, stop reading anti-bullying pamphlets.” Lex rolled his eyes. “What are you getting out of this? Is my father paying you?”

A scowl fell over Felicity face as frustration twinged the corner of her lips. She carefully marked her page in her book before standing to glare at Lex. “Believe it or not, Lex, not all poor people have a price tag.”

Lex furrowed his eyebrows at the reaction: both Felicity’s anger and his own remorse at causing it. He’d watched this girl go through _hell_ and never lose her temper, yet with a simple insinuation that she’d have an alternate motive was enough to push her towards the edge. He let out a sigh, letting go of most of his presumptions and annoyance with the breath. “That’s not what I meant. This is the real world, and I know that no hero’s gonna come around and save me.”

“I’m not a hero!” Felicity spat out. “I’m just a nice person, you paranoid asshole!”

“Yeah, normally nice people don’t have to yell that in the middle of a library,” Lex observed, crossing his arms over his chest. Felicity seemed to remember where they were and shook her head to calm down a bit before pinning Lex with a sarcastic smile.

“And normally when people say ‘thank you’ they don’t accuse people of taking a bribe.”

Lex blinked at her in surprise before letting out a wary chuckle. “You’re right.” Felicity paused with narrowed, suspicious eyes. “I tend to keep my expectations low.”

“Try to at least keep high hopes, then.” Felicity shrugged. “That’s what I do.”

And that was how Lex Luthor made his first friend.

Or, rather, how he made his first alliance--they weren’t friends quite yet. They were getting there, slowly. They ate lunch together and studied together. They were the top two students in their class. In maths and sciences, Felicity often barely surpassed Lex. In literature and history, Lex often barely surpassed Felicity. They made quite the team in their shared debate class, too.

Lex only finally viewed Felicity as a true friend the day they tag teamed during Debate to tear Maxwell Lord’s entire argument on class disparities apart.

As Lex’s infamy turned to popularity as puberty hit him like a ton of bricks, Felicity’s status, too, escalated by association. Where Lex reveled in the change, Felicity barely had to adapt at all beyond growing up. When Lex would beg off to go to parties, Felicity would simply spend more time in the library figuring out coding or in her dorm building computers by hand and repairing any tech anyone couldn’t replace immediately.

She became known as Lex’s “hermit best friend”, but people knew not to discuss her more solitary attitude if they didn’t want a broken nose. After _that_ incident with Tommy Merlyn, Felicity had mysteriously started hanging around Lex more. He knew it was so that she could keep him calm should she need to, but somehow it didn’t upset him.

He liked spending time with Felicity--be it knowing looks behind teachers’ backs, or “save me” looks over the shoulders of especially bold pursuers, or jokes told while Felicity fiddled with engines and computers. For those four years, Felicity was his rock. He could rant to her about his father, he could go home with her for the holidays, and no matter what, Felicity would stand by him. She might not always agree with him--for example, they disagreed on refugees--but she always let him know that those disagreements didn’t change their friendship.

So, when Felicity got accepted for early acceptance in MIT and he was told by his father that he would start going to Stanford to take classes and take over a nearby LuthorCorp branch, he swallowed his disappointment and played up his happiness for Felicity. His only friend didn’t deserved to be held back by him because he couldn’t go against his father.

She could tell, though. She could always tell.

“Lex, this isn’t the end of our friendship. You know that, right?” Felicity asked as she and Lex sat in her empty dorm at MIT--Felicity on her bed, and Lex on the floor looking up at the black color of Felicity’s ceiling that her roommate had painted it. (“If it’s okay with you, I want to paint a mural of the night sky?” Adrianna had asked when Felicity asked her about it. Lex could tell from Felicity’s excited grin that the night sky would be perfect.)

Lex looked over at her. She’d changed outwardly over the winter break, dying her hair the same color as her new ceiling in an act of rebellion against her mother when Donna had pressured her to dye it blonde. Her eyes were still the same, even if they were obscured by her glasses. They were both growing older at a rapid rate, and it scared him, because he knew better than to promise her that they’d stay friends forever. 

But for now, with her brilliant eyes looking expectantly at him, he pretended that their distance wouldn’t be the water drips that eroded their friendship. “What are 3,128 miles, anyway?”

“What are four years?” Felicity shot back with that smile that made all of Lex’s anxiety float away.

Lex wished he wasn’t right when at his graduation he looked around and realized that she wasn’t there. That he hadn’t spoken to her in two years. That he hadn’t gone to her graduation. That he’d ignored her calls over the last few months because he’d been too busy.

And thus their friendship eroded.

It wasn’t an explosion, it wasn’t a bitter argument, it wasn’t filled with anger or hatred or passion. It was simply not high enough on his priority list. And somehow, he thought as he swirled the scotch in his glass, that was worse.

He calls her when a mutual friend mentions that she’s moving to Starling with a masters in computer science and a job offer at Queen Consolidated. They talk for two hours and he wishes her “Happy Hanukkah” for the first time in three years. They don’t make any promises to talk more.

She doesn’t call him when his dad dies, but she shows up with wine and understanding.

Maybe that’s all their friendship could end up being, he thought to himself that night as he stared blankly at a movie that Felicity had put on before promptly falling asleep the way she always did. Maybe they were only fated to be each other’s emergency contact. After all, he might not be able to talk to her everyday, but he’d shrug off the apocalypse if she really needed him.

The only problem was that it was becoming more and more clear that Felicity didn’t need him. He was almost positive that she’d never needed him.

And yet still, he called her when Moira Queen announced her fucking earthquake machine.

He called her when it comes out that she was taken hostage by the Count.

He called her after the siege.

He called her when she is named VP of Palmer Tech.

He called her when she after she was in the middle of a firefight, but she assured him that she was protected by Palmer, Captain Lance, and his daughter.

He called her to congratulate her on her engagement and to inform her that he’d be coming down to Star City to help her. He yelled at her fiancé when he finally deigned to show up. He helped Curtis develop his technology.

It took until Oliver’s _son_ was kidnapped for Lex to figure out that Felicity was working with the Arrow and honestly, it was all Lex needed to leave. After all, he and Felicity hadn’t been real friends in a while, just sounding boards in times of need.

She never needed him, so he decided to stop needing her.

“I’m leaving now.” Lex told her, leaning against the wall of the hallway outside of her apartment as she came back up to load more boxes.

“I figured.” Felicity admitted, shoving her hands in her pockets to stop herself from wringing her hands the way she does when she had to have a conversation she’d been avoiding. “I’m--”

“Sorry? Save it.” He shook his head. 

She let out a frustrated huff. “The Arrow _helps_ people.”

“I’m not mad at you for working with the Arrow!” Lex hissed, keeping his voice low. “I’m mad that you trust a lunatic in a mask and a hood more than the person who had your back throughout high school even when your ex-fiancé’s best friend tried to talk shit about you.”

Felicity hung her head in shame before shaking her head and looking up at him with that hard glare that she’d worn every time she was pissed. “Oh? And you still stand by me, right? I know you sold your shares in Palmer Tech. You pulled your support after Ray died because you had no faith in me to lead.”

“I don’t make business decisions with my heart, Felicity.” Lex deflected easily. “Besides, I didn’t know how you’d do, because you’re a stranger to me now. I trusted the Felicity that I knew. You’re not her. I don’t know who you are, but she’d never work with a murderer.”

“Shove you holier than thou rhetoric, Lex,” She growled. “You forget that I know science, don’t you? I was always just a bit smarter than you in that area, remember? You act the way you do like you own moral superiority, but I know what your R&D have been working on. What’s your problem with Superman? The Lex I knew wasn’t paranoid...oh wait, I guess one of us hasn’t actually changed.”

And with that, Felicity turned and walked away from him, his technology in her spine as he stared at her retreating back.

“Don’t call me again. Whatever we were back then, it’s over now.” Felicity called out over her shoulder, her fists clenched in anger.

“It’s been over for a while, genius.” Lex got in the last word before storming off himself.

He knew, of course, two years later when she was in Metropolis to have a business meeting with Cat Grant and Bruce Wayne. She and Wayne were discussing being young business moguls and their companies’ partnership. Cat was there to conduct the interview herself, taking a break from her own pet Kryptonian.

Lex has sent a few thugs to keep them from getting any good press off of the interview. He had enough problems with some hacker stealing data from his servers.

They weren’t supposed to destroy the goddamn cafe. It was Superman’s fault for bringing along his little cousin. They escalated the situation to the point that Intergang--as the crew Lex had hired called themselves--had fought back without care for the people around them. Lex had watched in the news as they retreated and used the patrons in the cafe as hostages.

Part of him ached at the sight of Bruce Wayne protecting Felicity.

(That same part laughed when he saw her raise an eyebrow at the billionaire when he shushed her, earning a chastised and semi-exasperated expression from Wayne.)

Superman and Supergirl were able to defuse the situation (that they’d escalated by themselves) and Intergang went to jail. There were no casualties, but according to the other hostages, that was because of Felicity’s and Bruce’s quick thinking as they thinned the herd and disarmed them one by one.

(One fairly amazing quote that became possible was the way Felicity shrugged off the stories of her heroism. “I’ve been shot up before. I don’t particularly care for it.”)

Lex wished he was surprised when Felicity stormed into his office, all righteous fury and determination as his secretary trails after her. Mercy straightened in alarm, but Lex calmed her down with a wave of his hand.

“This is how you treat your competitors, Lex?” Felicity growled at him, the same angry fire in her eyes that she had when they’d demolished Maxwell Lord. Lex admonished himself for ever thinking that she wouldn’t turn on him.

“I don’t understand what you’re insinuating, Smoak.” Lex answered coolly, leaning back in his office chair.

“What’s your game?”

Lex smirked. “Blackjack.”

“Cut the shit!” She practically screamed, slamming her hands down on his desk. “I know it was you! I know that you sent Intergang! What? You can’t stand anyone who might actually be competition for you and your damn agenda!?”

“Even if I was responsible in the way you’re insinuating--and I’m not--you’re not competition.” Lex tapped his fingers over the glass top of his desk.

Felicity scoffed. “When have petty insults ever actually sidetracked me, Lex?”

Lex quieted for a second, seemingly calm under her glare even as he measured her up. “Petty? I thought it was quite well crafted.”

“Keep it up,” Felicity grabbed a file from her purse and threw it at Lex’s chest. “Stay smug, Luthor. I’ve got your number.”

Lex watched her walk away again before snapping at his secretary to make sure no one else got into his office without his approval. He opened the file and cursed.

Felicity was a hacker.

Once again, Lex wished that he was surprised with the Daily Planet published all of Luthor’s dirty secrets and backroom deals. Lucy Lane and Clark Kent had a field day, being the pioneers of reading what was dubbed the Luthor Report--or the Smoking Gun in one of Lane’s reports, which only served to make Lex more aware of who exactly leaked this information.

In his anger, he didn’t hesitate to have Mercy pick up Felicity from her hotel and bring her to a warehouse near the coast, where he sat at a long table with a gun and a silencer laying on it. When Mercy came through the entrance while holding a spitting angry Felicity’s arm, he looked up lazily and directed Felicity to sit down.

“So, this is what we’ve come to, huh?” Felicity glared at him, shrugging off Mercy’s hand to sit down voluntarily. “How much hate did you become consumed with, Lex?”

“Does it feel nice up on your high horse?” Lex shot back.

“You tried. To kill me.”

Lex rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. They were instructed not to kill anyone, but then the Supers escalated the situation. Us mere mortals tend to get scared when gods descend on us.”

“ _I’m_ dramatic!? You kidnapped me!”

“Kidnapped is a strong word.” Lex spoke in a purposefully calm voice as his rage boiled inside of him. He slowly picked up the gun and started screwing the silencer into place. “I just wanted to talk.”

“With bullets?”

“Actions and such.”

“He was actually a very sweet kid,” Felicity informed Mercy as she sat back in her chair.

Mercy raised an eyebrow at Felicity dismissively. Lex shot beside Felicity’s hair to get her attention. To let her know that he wasn’t fucking around with her. She startled and turned to look at Lex like he was a lunatic. He felt calm, though. "You and I have unfinished business that I’d like to take care of.”

Felicity looked pissed and unimpressed. “By shooting me?”

“You’re taking me down. Good work on that, I’ll be in prison for a while.” Lex acknowledged. “With the cancer, it’ll be for the rest of my life.”

“Cancer? What cancer?” Felicity sat up straighter, a concerned look on her face. Lex made himself ignore it.

“I’m going to get a life sentence. So, I’m going to give you one.” He leveled the gun at her. “Any last words?”

Felicity clenched her fists and stared Lex down the barrel of the gun. “Cliche much? Fine, last words?”

“Last words.”

“I’m not sorry.” She told him, eyes hard and words heavy. “I did what was right. I don’t know why you became this, but it’s the path you chose. You used to know the distance between doing good and doing well. I guess we did both change. I loved you once. If anything, I’m sorry that that Lex is gone.”

Lex clenched his jaw and stared down at Felicity before squeezing the trigger--

Just as a red blur raced across his line of sight, leaving Felicity’s chair empty as twin blue blurs surrounded him.

“Felicity Meghan Smoak!” The Flash yelled at Felicity as they reappeared in a far corner of the warehouse. Too far away for Lex to get Felicity with the Supers surrounding him. “Batman is pissed! Today was supposed to be our first official meeting and you went and got kidnapped!? Now you’re just living up to expectations.”

“Sorry, I had a meeting with an old friend,” She offered resting her hand against her chest where Lex had had his gun trained. She looked up, Felicity’s and Lex’s eyes meeting as Mercy was fighting with White Canary, the Kryptonite weaponry used having no effect on the Supers with their new armor, courtesy of a joint DEO and STAR Labs project. 

“Are you okay?” ATOM asked as he grew into a human sized adult next to her. “Batman wanted to come himself, but--”

“But he had work to do.” Felicity interrupted. “I know. Hey, at least the JLA is working!”

“What? How?” Kara asked as she watched Clark secure Luthor’s hands behind his back.

Felicity watched Lex’s hard face for a beat before looking away and announcing, “We caught our first villain.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays again guys~! My laptop has once again blessed me by working so in between schoolwork, I'll try to post some more oneshots, but I don't think I'll get to any more updates for multichapter works in a while because I have so much planned and I'm having to take care of my dad rn. Please bear with me!!
> 
> Go follow me on social media:
> 
> [see wally_birb for pretty pictures](http://www.instagram.com/wally_birb/)
> 
> [see alpha-whale for snark in spades](http://www.alpha-whale.tumblr.com)


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